She Gave $200K To Help Her Parents Retire—They Used It On Her Brother And Say 'Sisters Should Look Out For Their Little Brothers'

A woman said she is reconsidering financially supporting her parents after learning money she sent for their retirement was used to support her brother instead.

In a post shared on the r/AmITheA**hole subreddit, the 32-year-old wrote that she earns about $300,000 a year working in healthcare in the U.S. while her parents live in another country.

Over several years, she sent her parents regular monthly payments and asked that the money be saved for their retirement and emergencies. She estimated the total amount she sent was close to $200,000.

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Retirement Money Went Toward Other Purchases

According to the original poster, her parents used the money on several purchases instead of saving it. They bought a luxury car despite already owning two usable vehicles, and her father later told her that one of the older cars had been given to her younger brother.

She also shared that her mother purchased expensive jewelry and presented it as being saved for a future daughter-in-law.

In addition, the OP shared that her parents used some of their own savings along with the remaining money she had sent to buy a small property intended for her brother, who had recently quit his job and moved back home, a decision her parents said was to "take care of them."

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None of these decisions were discussed with her beforehand. She understood the money to be for her parents' retirement and emergencies.

When she raised concerns about how the money was used, her parents responded that it was theirs to spend because it had been given freely and accused her of being petty and overreacting.

Longstanding Issues With Her Brother

The situation brought long-standing issues with her brother back into focus. According to the OP, their relationship had been strained for years after an incident that damaged trust.

She wrote that her brother once accessed her phone without permission and shared private messages with their mother. Given her family's conservative views, she wrote that the incident put her education and personal safety at risk. Although the issue was not raised with her father, the incident altered their relationship permanently.

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She later completed her degree and moved to the U.S. for further studies. During that time, she met her husband and married him despite her parents' objections due to his nationality. Contact with her parents became limited, but she continued sending money out of gratitude for how they raised her.

"I didn't want to give my brother money," she wrote. "I don't have a relationship with him, and he had a perfectly fine job." When she raised these concerns, her parents accused her of being hostile and told her that "sisters should look out for their little brothers."

She acknowledged that the money was legally a gift, but wrote that the situation still feels difficult. "It feels like going back into childhood."

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